May 11, 2017, posted by Crumbs
Yes ladies and gentlemen, this July our fearless leader Robb Flynn will officially be a Quinquagenarian!!??
- In Led Zeppelin terms, that's halfway up the stairway to heaven!
- In fact, at 50, he’ll spend more time trimming his nose hair than his head hair!!
- Hell, the best form of birth control for Robb at this is point, is nudity!
- At 50, he's entered the Stone Age... gall, kidney, and bladder.
- He’s seen it all, done it all…... but can’t remember most of it!
- That’s right, his back goes out more than he does!
- Turning 50 means he's so old that "doing it three times a night" is how many times Robb get's up to pee!!
- At 50 he’s stiff in all the places he doesn’t want to be, and needs a pill to get stiff in the places he does!!
- Christ, his wild oats have just turned to porridge!!
Ba Da Bing!
In honor of the inglorious occasion, the youthfully challenged yet chronologically gifted frontman will be celebrating with a concert performance on Saturday, July 22nd at The Metro Operahouse in Oakland, CA. and features a cavalcade of D-List rockstars, has-been’s, and never-was’s, such as Fuckin’ Joe Cabral and Robb himself.
The debaucherous, alcohol-drenched event will likely be viewed by future generations as "the greatest show of all-time”, and is sure to make him an official charter member for the “Old Farts Hall of Fame”!
He only turns half-a-century this year, don’t miss this once in a lifetime event!!
Tickets go on sale this Friday at noon California time.
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